August 3, 2019
Etchinghill, Kent
Venue: Edfest 2019

Lampreys and jellyfish, buoys and gills, prepare to set sail on the good ship Edfest. All are welcome on this aquatic adventure, so salt your sea-dogs, batten down the hatches and don’t forget your swimsuits!

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EDFEST 2019: THE LITTLE MERM-ED
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Alongside our able-bodied crew we have the scurviest selection of musical rapscallions ever to swim these fair seas, accompanied by veritable treasure trove of comedy, magic and poetry. As usual we have three swashbuckling stages for you, as well as a whole host of activities, games and interactive performance to help shiver your timbers.

So how do I get in?
Simple – just head over to the kickstarter (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/edfest/edfest-2019-the-little-merm-ed) and buy a ticket, or maybe try out one of the other super-special options. As ever, if you can’t afford it just turn up anyway. We’re not going to kick you out. If, however, you can spare us any sort of donation then please do. It all goes towards ensuring this kind of bollocks can continue.

–THIS FESTIVAL IS BYOB. ANYONE IS WELCOME.
–DON’T BE A DICK – THERE WILL BE (SOFT) SECURITY.
–MAKE SURE YOU LOOK AFTER YOURSELF OR HAVE SOMEONE TO LOOK AFTER YOU.
(I am not your dad. I will not hold your hair back whilst you vomit.)

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THE ROCKTOPUS
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-ASKARI OAM
Askari OAM – Grime, Punk, Poetry and Hip-Hop combine in the musical melting pot that is Askari OAM. Fearlessly fronted by the passionate performance of seasoned MC Asher Baker – and ably supported by members of DIY heroes Sonic Boom Six and Passengers – this bucketful of bangers, beats, bars and bass is the perfect way to finsh off the live band lineup

-THE SEMINAL FLUIDS
Back again. The highlight of the night. They have several terrible songs but ONE GREAT HOOK. Get it? Fine. Whatever.

-DRUNKEN DOLLY
What an exclusive, Edfest’s first fully international booking! Hailing from Rotterdam, Drunken Dolly are an amazing Folk-Punk band who play almost as hard as they party. Fresh off the back of several UK and European tours, these guys will provide a pitch-perfect performance of piratical punk!

-HOUNDING
Edfest stalwarts Hounding are back once again with their unique fiery brand of Grunge and Sludge. Mmm… delicious. Much banging of the head and flailing of the fist is to be expected.

-FIEVES
With blues licks and a garage-rock drive, Fieves will transform the Rocktopus stage into a sweat-drenched Seattle dive bar for one night only. Come catch these up-and-coming punks before they sell out and start playing stadiums.

-OLD CHURCH
Doom-laden riffs and stoner drones to blow your mind and your eardrums. Rising from the ashes of UKHC favourites War Crimes, these guys are ready to bring a tidal wave of sound.

-DEAF ROW
If I was going to start an alternative metal band, this is what I would have called it – or maybe I would have come up with a better pun. Who knows? Anyway, get down to see these guys for your RDA of chugging grooves, tasty licks and hard-hitting vocals.

-SPIRIT OF THE LEVELLERS
The long-suffering house band are back to open up the day’s festivities, and what a way to start things! If we gave out long service medals then these guys would be first in line. Expect all the classics you know and love, ranging from REM to RHCP, Stereophonics to Simon & Garfunkel.

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RAVEY JONES’ LOCKUP
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-SHADES OF BRAY B2B DJ 2-LA
Party legends. Rave myths. Big bangers, cold-cut classics and tight, tight tunes. These guys are coming prepared with a whole sack of tracks sure to keep you grooving till the morning light.

– BIG MISTY VS THE RMD
Cult legend Big Misty made a huge splash last time he played Edfest a few years ago, and we have been trying to get him back ever since. Well, we now have a guest that’s worth him leaving his mystical home in the Bulgarian mountains to perform with – The RMD. Little is known about this mysterious performer, but one thing is know for certain – if something cool is happening, he’ll be there. Fans of hip hop, grime and mad vibezz take note, this one’s gonna be lairy.

-BYFYN
Fresh from playing this year’s Latitude Festival (and I mean fresh, it is literally the week before) we welcome back queer synth-pop princess Byfyn for another storming set. She is the darling of BBC introducing and everything I ever hope to be. You need to see her so you can brag about it to your mates in three years’ time when she is being supported by Grimes.

-SOLO MALES
The new Underworld. The new Prodigy. Remember what it was like to see an electronic act and get the same atmosphere as seeing a punk band? Yeah, well get ready to feel it again. Featuring guest collabrations with several other Edfest acts, this is a set not to be missed.

-RAMARA
Glitchy chilled out beats mixed with funk and soul grooves courtesy of this visionary producer and member of established arts collective (and rave-makers) The Rising Sun. Despite having a long and successful career making other people sound great, this is one of the first times Ramara has played a live set for his solo project – so make sure you’re there for this Edfest exclusive!

-NAHME
Chilled out Drum and Bass to clear your head and set your focus. Imagine Ibiza at 6am. Imagine Boomtown when you’re coming down. Imagine a better way to see in the sunset. Oh yeah, that’s right, you cant.

-JAH JAH BINKS SOUNDSYSTEM
Rudebwoi original selecta back to ease the day in with choice cuts of Dub, Reggae, Ska and whole host of other danceable genres. Get your moonstomp on or just chill in the blazing sunshine with an authentic Caribbean stylee.

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COMMODORE CAPO’S CRUSIN’ CABERET
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Compered by Earthman Bob

-CAMPBELL GLAZIER: MAD-GICIAN
One half of the now-legendary Panto Banto and a regular on the UK comedy scene, Campbell Glazier is a magician like you have never seen: part pantomime, part Derren Brown, and always incredible. Miss this at your peril.

-LAWRENCE CROW & THE IMAGINARY BAND
Imagine the witty, honest lyrics of Beans on Toast, the frenetic live energy of Gogol Bordello and the freedom-fighting troubadour spirit of Frank Turner. Then imagine an imaginary band. Put it all together and what have you got? Well, you’ll have to come and find out.

-AUNT MARGAUX
Ethereal, soul-filled vocals and shimmering psychedelic pop combine to create a hazy soundscape reminiscent of summer afternoons and sea breezes. This ain’t your typical singer-songwriter fare, so make sure you don’t miss out on this selection of delicate, majestic masterpieces.

-JAMIE WARNES
Frontman of global rockstars Eat Me and all round legend Jamie Warnes is back to kick off proceedings on the acoustic stage. It’s a tradition, or an old charter, or something. A year without Jamie would be like a year in Alaska; very, very cold and devoid of recognisable love.

-ALEX TUCK
Evertim have gone from strength to strength on the UK alternative scene, and we are delighted to welcome their frontman and musical juggernaut Alex Tuck for an exclusive solo set. Strap in, it’s going to be emotional.

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GREAT BARRIER REEFER
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SeaHorse Racing
Rock Pool
The Seawee Urinals
The OCEON Cinema
-City of the Lost Children
-The Mermaid
-Deep Blue Sea
– The Lure

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The Rocktopus’ Garden
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Art Installations
Education Station
Puzzles & Games
Interactive Soundscapes

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THE SEA OF DANKQUILITY
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Billy the Squid’s Seaside Bemusements
The Squinema & Diorama
Cirque Du La Mer
Swordfish Fencing
Captain Conor’s Treasure Hunt
The Tamu Massif Firepit

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Captain Pubwash
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– Merch and Booze
This year we have some awesome bits and bobs from long-time edfest supporter and total hero Moomin Merch (http://www.bandsmerch.co.uk/). Whatever is left over from the Kickstarter will be available at the bar along with whatever grog we can get for you to drink by the galleon. Prices/donations TBC.
The event is still predominantly BYOB, the bar is essentially just here as a backup.
All profits (lol) will go towards next year’s Edfest.

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The CLAMping Area
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The Camping area is available to all for no extra cost. Coming from
far away? Too lazy to call a cab? Simply collapse into your seabed at the end of the night and try your best to forget. There is plenty of
room, but if you want to reserve a space send me a message or post in the event. Preference will be given to artists and those travelling furthest. Also, bring your own equipment. I’m not made of sleeping bags.
No tent-tickles.